Thursday, March 10, 2011

Have I created a Monster??

I LOVE that I've rediscovered crafting.  I'm having SO much fun with all of the new things I've been making.  I feel so HONORED that people like the things that I've been creating, and have been ordering items from me.  I'm SUPER excited for the upcoming craft fair that I'm organizing.

So.....what's the problem?  Well, the problem has started to consume my mind throughout the day and night.  At work during the day, I day-dream of how I can alter a new product - right in the middle of writing a check to pay bills.  Jill looks over at me like "Helloooo."  During my lunch break, I scour over my favorite blogs in search of inspiration for new ideas, new projects, more things that I would LOVE to do.  I get distracted throughout the afternoon, and count-down until 5pm.  I enjoy making supper for my children, and reading their books.  BUT, I don't enjoy cleaning up....and usually end up sneaking down to my craft room to either start a new project - or make space on my table to be able to get started as soon as the kids are in bed.  THEN....I'm up until about 10:30 - 11pm working on new projects and/or filling orders.  It takes me FOREVER to get to sleep as more and more ideas go swirling through my head while I toss and turn and try to shut my brain off.  When the alarm goes off....I'm exhausted.  I find myself resenting having to go to work, and I wish I could just take care of my children, take care of my home, and CREATE....ALL DAY LONG!!!

I don't know if that will ever get to happen.  I am getting pretty tired of having to fill orders at 10pm...I'm starting to wear down.  BUT, I LOVE doing it.  When I'm "working" in my craft room...I don't even notice what time it is.  I don't feel tired when James peeks in and says "it's getting late."  Don't get me wrong - I'm VERY Thankful to have our business.  I don't want to stop working there altogether.  But I'd be lying if I said that I wouldn't LOVE to at least cut back a little....even getting off a few hours early a couple days a week.  I'm 1/2 owner....shouldn't I be able to do that??  HA!  Remember in one of my first posts when I talked about the big "G" word?  That's right....GUILT.  James works SO hard, and SO MANY hours...  Maybe someday it will happen....but for now....I'd better head to the craft room to fill some more orders.  :)

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